Romantic Revenge

In one of my classes, a girl shared that her boyfriend flirted often with other girls. When she got fed up, she did the same as a way of getting back at him.


This behavior that I call “romantic revenge” is something I have heard happen many times. And it is brought about by the pain one feels upon discovering that his or her partner is being unfaithful. This feeling is distressing and in many instances makes a person paranoid. Nothing else occupies a person’s mind except the imagined future acts of infidelity by the flirtatious partner. And this jealousy whether baseless or not can become an obsession.

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Some people will react to such cases by becoming more controlling of their partners. While others will go to the extent of confronting the suspected “third party.” But there are those like the girl I mentioned, who find that they can no longer contain their distress and try to inflict this same pain back upon their partner.

But the question is, does this vengeful behavior actually make you feel better? And will engaging in it help the relationship? By flirting too, you may only end up diminishing your own dignity.

When you find yourself in a relationship that reaches a point where you inflict this romantic revenge upon each other, maybe it would be better to just end it instead of attempting to hurt your unfaithful partner while debasing yourself in the process.  Staying in such a relationship will only make you miserable.


The girl I mentioned claims that she has finally broken up with her boyfriend. Perhaps being alone but at peace is better than being in a relationship that brings out the worst in you.